“Look at Rick R. He’s really cute!” (Giggles) “ I think you should “like” him.” (More giggles) Junior High? Nope, just two girlfriends in their sixties checking out the guys on Match! It’s really not all that much different despite the huge gap in years. During that gap : dating, marriage(s) children, grandchildren and spouses passing away in their early sixties. The possibility of finding a male companion for dinner and social events, or a possible long term relationship, has turned both of us into giggling girls believing in possibilities. Maybe Rick R.,who is 70, might “like”one of us and even send a message, which leads to more giggles! Are we trying to recapture our lost youth? I don’t think its a matter of age so much as asserting that we are capable of feeling excited about love, and about men who are not boys anymore. We have minds which have sexual thoughts and bodies which have sexual feelings. We desire male companionship and friendship. We can still giggle.
Last week, in my post on “Selfies” I wrote about how I had difficulty deciding what pictures to use for my profile on Match. I elected to just take a couple of selfies and post them. My attitude was that I didn’t want to make a big effort to “present” myself and my goal was to be as real and authentic as possible. I see now that my attitude of “What you see is what you get.”may in part be self-defense for being disappointed or hurt if I put some real effort into it and no one is interested. There is a middle, sweet spot where I care about how I present myself to others and hope others perceive me positively, without paying excessive attention to my self- presentation and appearance. I haven’t hit that sweet spot yet, but I’m getting closer.
Tell me about yourself. What are you looking for? Well I haven’t been skiing in the Alps or scuba diving in Bali like you have. I don’t have a motorcycle or a boat. How will you ever find the time to be in a relationship? My weight is average, isn’t everyone 15 pounds overweight? I’m spiritual, but not religious, and no I don’t want to go to church with you. Politically I’m left of center and Donald Trump makes me vomit. You say you are conservative, so do you use the words “like” and “Trump” in the same sentence? The “girls” aren’t giggling now, we’re trying to decipher what “he” means. Thinking “He’s cute.” doesn’t mean much if we are total opposites. At this point in my life, I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not to impress the cute guy. Sure I want to make a good first impression, but I know the thousandth impression is really more important . But, and this is a big but, I need to get in the same room (coffee shop) with someone to make a good first impression and have a chance to get to know them.
Scrolling through the photos and profiles on Match is fun, hence the giggles. Things get more serious when considering who to reach out to and then waiting for responses. Then we’re on to being excited to see “You have a message from Joe Blow” and “OMG, he sent a message!” And more giggles. Of course, if and when, I actually get a meet-up scheduled there will be lots of giggles and discussions about what to wear. Maybe I should call some teenage girls I know and ask them for advice!