Will You Still Love Me When I’m 100?

When I was 10, I wanted to live to be 100. I also felt that old people were kinda embarrassing and a bit distasteful.  Somehow, I believed I could reach my 100th birthday and I would not have to become old. I wouldn’t have to look or feel old, and others would not see me or treat me as old. Magical childhood thinking that I could have it both ways! Of course, I grew up and now I feel old and look old.  I have indeed became old and I do fit the profile. I could definitely be picked out of a lineup as the old person. Guilty of the crime of aging!

As we know, humans can simultaneously hold 2 opposing viewpoints, we can and do change our minds, and we tell ourselves stories which have no basis in fact but which we strongly believe.  The topic of aging is ripe for all of these mental gymnastics. After all, don’t we want to live to a ripe old age? I am a little wary of using this analogy cause to me it sounds like we’re waiting to throw out fruit that is past its prime. We’re told to not deny aging but to defy aging! We should strive for “super” aging. There is a good, better and best way to age, and I know for sure I haven’t even achieved “good” yet. If I try to defy aging I’ll just look like I’m shadow boxing with myself. I’m tired of trying to become “better” than I am. I want Goldilocks and myself to declare I’m “just right”.

I have to play the hand I’ve been dealt, and sometimes I don’t get a winning hand. This doesn’t mean I’ve lost the game, and in most card games I have a partner that can help me out. I won’t get to 100 if I don’t have family and friends that love me and vice versa. Aging is an individual thing and no one can know how I really feel about my aging body and mind, but I don’t have to be alone and/or lonely in the process. Put two 100 year olds in a room and there are very few generalizations you can make, differences out-weigh similarities. It’s my own story to write and tell and I have things to say. My responsibility is to tell the truth, listen and be kind.

In 2022, 56 million people, almost 17% of U.S. population was over 65.  By 2050,  it is expected that about 23% of our population will be over 65.  I’m not always a proud member of the over 65 club. “I am old, hear me roar.”  Not so much!  But I’ll take the Senior discounts and my retirement. Remember that I am not an old woman,  I am a woman who is old. And yes, I have a lot of wisdom, but since no one listens to me anyway I’ll just enjoy the show.

“ I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

                                                                                            Woody Allen