Welcome to the Shitshow 2025, the greatest show on earth!! Reserve your seats now. Tickets are free, but seats are limited. Seating in the front section is reserved for billionaires. There are still seats available outside on the sidewalk, but please bring warm blankets for use due to the frigid cold. Concessions are available to those with indoor seating. No food is available for outdoor seating due to supply chain and entitlement issues. No one will be allowed inside without their “papers”. Packed suitcases are recommended for those seated outside. Sit back and enjoy the show and remember there will be no consequences for illegal and immoral behaviors.
This popular show is being sponsored by billionaires with shit for brains, wads of cash, and greed for more and more. Flattery and blind loyalty are required and the lucky billionaires will get government contracts and big, fat, juicy tax breaks for their contributions and capitulations. Headquarters are located at a private resort in the Sunshine State and contributions are laundered at that location. Documents are stored in plain sight, but no one knows where they are, except Elon.
Help Wanted: The Shitshow is currently hiring for liars, haters, grifters, and brown-nosers. All positions require expertise in cruelty and a loyalty oath to the sadistic CEO . Are you totally unqualified and corrupt and/or a horrible dancer? Please apply immediately to the Shitshow. Those with enemy lists and sordid pasts are given more than equal opportunity. Pronoun requests are not accepted and there will be background checks for wokeness. A college degree is required, but must not include courses in history, science, ethics and civics. We want you if you can lie with a straight face and weave justifications for insane actions. Salary is above average because the rich always get richer. Each position comes with a pardon and your own personal Supreme Court justice.
This may be your last opportunity to enjoy the show since earth is quickly becoming a hostile and uninhabitable environment. If you believe climate change is a hoax, I have the perfect job for you at the Shitshow 2025!
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