Month: November 2025

A Wrinkle and a Wonder a Week #4

a Wrinkle a week

Delayed gratification? Have it now, why wait? It was hard to think ahead when I was young; simply impossible to imagine myself as an older woman. Even if it was labeled “May be hazardous to your health”, I just planned to  worry about the consequences later. I smoked, fried in the sun and consumed large amounts of alcohol. I took chances, made reckless choices and starved myself or binge ate. Picking the wrong men was definitely hazardous to my health. As I get older, I find that “later” was sooner than I thought! Consequences, wrinkles and a body that rebels  are piling up as I age. I thought I could “fix” myself and outrun or forget some of my past trauma. For many years, my running obsession gave legs to my intention to get healthy and not grow old. Was I running away from something or running toward something”? I’d still be running if my body allowed me to. Now I’m afraid of falling and getting up off the floor. God knows I’ve had enough therapy to last several lifetimes and I think I’m done, self-improvement be damned. So I am “worse for wear”, or am I?

a Wonder a week

We learn from our experiences right? We’ve all heard that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I’m still around and I argue that I am stronger for all my life experiences, both good and bad. Somewhere along the line I stopped smoking and drinking and started making better choices. The wonder is that I keep learning and exercising my mind and body. What I don’t know is vast, but I’m curious and love to discover my world and honor my past. I do chair yoga so I don’t have to worry about getting up from the floor! I act quickly to treat “aches and pains” and any serious health  concerns. Most importantly,  I do not subscribe to the  “Lots of people your age…” theory which I know promotes ageism and minimizes the health concerns of the olders.  Now I do look ahead, and protect and plan for mobility issues. Escaping natural consequences isn’t possible, but I don’t believe that I need to be a victim either. I do subscribe to the “Use it or lose it.” theory for both my body and mind. My good friends are my best support, keep me engaged and make me laugh. I treasure all of you.

A Wrinkle and a Wonder a week #4

a Wrinkle a week

Delayed gratification? Have it now, why wait? It was hard to think ahead when I was young; simply impossible to imagine myself as an older woman. Even if it was labeled “May be hazardous to your health”, I just planned to  worry about the consequences later. I smoked, fried in the sun and consumed large amounts of alcohol. I took chances, made reckless choices and starved myself or binge ate. Picking the wrong men was definitely hazardous to my health. As I get older, I find that “later” was sooner than I thought! Consequences, wrinkles and a body that rebels  are piling up as I age. I thought I could “fix” myself and outrun or forget some of my past trauma. For many years, my running obsession gave legs to my intention to get healthy and not grow old. Was I running away from something or running toward something”? I’d still be running if my body allowed me to. Now I’m afraid of falling and getting up off the floor. God knows I’ve had enough therapy to last several lifetimes and I think I’m done, self-improvement be damned. So I am “worse for wear”, or am I?

a Wonder a week

We learn from our experiences right? We’ve all heard that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I’m still around and I argue that I am stronger for all my life experiences, both good and bad. Somewhere along the line I stopped smoking and drinking and started making better choices. The wonder is that I keep learning and exercising my mind and body. What I don’t know is vast, but I’m curious and love to discover my world and honor my past. I do chair yoga so I don’t have to worry about getting up from the floor! I act quickly to treat “aches and pains” and any serious health  concerns. Most importantly,  I do not subscribe to the  “Lots of people your age…” theory which I know promotes ageism and minimizes the health concerns of the olders.  Now I do look ahead, and protect and plan for mobility issues. Escaping natural consequences isn’t possible, but I don’t believe that I need to be a victim either. I do subscribe to the “Use it or lose it.” theory for both my body and mind. My good friends are my best support, keep me engaged and make me laugh. I treasure all of you.

A Wrinkle a Week

I’m so not cool. Perhaps I am even “cringe”.  Am I too old to be anything other than old? I’m not sure. The beauty industry, focused primarily on looking younger, tells me that I should fight my wrinkles. I look in the mirror and think waging war on my aging body is probably a losing battle, but maybe, just maybe, this particular moisturizer can banish my wrinkles and crepey skin. Who wants “bingo” arms?  No sleeveless tops for me. I’m out of the loop and sound kind of silly using some of the words coined by the younger generation. 67 means what?  I use too many ellipses … and I need a cheat sheet to help me understand and write texts. Don’t roll your eyes at me, I had enough of that when my son was a teenager. Now it’s my son who can hover a bit; he’s telling me to “be careful” more often.  I may even roll my eyes at him!  On a scale of 1 to 10,  I’m mostly invisible in the world of men. If I’m noticed at all it’s because I look strange or am acting like a strange old lady . If I am not careful I can slip up and start a sentence with” Kids these days…” (oops!). Sounding like my Mother is definitely not cool.

A Wonder a Week

I may not be cool, but I am not a passing fad. I am a “classic”! Think Rolls Royce or a Gucci bag. Well maybe I shouldn’t go that far, but there are some things, like me, that never go out of style. If I practice kindness, respect and tolerance I am never out of style. I am mostly comfortable in my own skin. I don’t try on 20 outfits before I leave the house or suffer discomfort  from clothes that are cool but painful to wear.  I’d rather do the next right thing than strive for the right clothes, the right car and whatever else cool people have. I have more time to spend on things I enjoy instead of worrying about my image. Comparing myself, evaluating myself and testing the environment are a waste of my precious time.  Older women are not on the radar of our youth obsessed culture. My age is pretty good cover, people aren’t watching me, but ignore me at your own peril if you are trying to do harm and be unjust. I worry less about impressing other people and more about impressing myself. I remind myself often that “ What  you think about me is none of my business.”

a WRINKLE a week

“If it’s not one thing it’s another.” For example, when asked about my physical ailment du jour I might say, “My knee is better, but my hip hurts now.”  With aging complicating my life, I often face multiple issues all occurring at the same time. My townhome needs work, my body needs work and the world is a total mess. It feels like the movie title “Everything Everywhere All At Once.”  I’d really prefer just one thing at a time. Thank you very much. It could be that I’m not as adept at juggling as I once was, or maybe I’m just tired more.My house of cards is more susceptible to collapsing. I’m not a moving target, I’m a sitting duck. But enough with the metaphors!  Shit happens and I have to deal with it or pay the price. My limited and fixed income is constraining and at times makes me fearful. Meanwhile time marches on and life gets even more complicated.

a WONDER a week

As the years go by, with more and more of, “been there done that”,  I’d like to think that I’ve learned a lot. A big part of what I have learned is that not everything is an emergency.  I can prioritize what needs to be addressed right now and what can wait. So that “Everything Everywhere All At Once” becomes more like First Things First and One Day at a Time. My body is not as reliable as it once was and I can plan for that. I don’t need to wait for the emergency to happen, I can focus on accessibility right now. Denial is still a liability for me, but it has been tempered by the many experiences I’ve had with “It won’t happen to me.” actually happening to me.  I’m not afraid to ask for help and not above playing the old, gray haired lady card. Problem solving is something I think I’m pretty good at. I dig deep, navigate phone prompts  and figure out who I need to talk to. Customer service is an oxymoron: my call is not important to them and they will not be with me shortly. I’m very tenacious and at times I am even patient. Yes, patience!

a WRINKLE a week :I used to ________ run, play guitar… ( Fill in the blank).  If my conversations are full of used to’s, then I know my now is lacking something. Melancholy for a younger, better me diverts my attention from what I am doing now. When the present me is not so cool, do I get points for all the things I used to do?  Was I really a better version of myself then, but now I’m just old?  I know I have a long past, and a future which will be much shorter, but I am learning the moment I have right now is really the only one I need. What am I going to do with this moment? “Used to” is really nowhere

a WONDER a week: Whatever “it” was or is, it’s not a fatal flaw or I’d be dead. I wonder  how many times I got through it when I just  “couldn’t do it” anymore. I walked or I crawled, but I kept moving. Iv’e learned I don’t get an “A”for pretty, I get an “A” for effort. Remember that awful, cringe commercial from 1980, about a perfume Enjoli, where the heroine sings and dances while crowing: I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man.”  Well I don’t cook, I don’t really like bacon and I won’t help you if your masculinity is so fragile that I need to remind you you’re a man. So the wonder of it all is I’m really much stronger than I give myself credit for. And I’m not done yet.