Month: December 2025

 a Wrinkle

It’s that time of the New Year. All of the health clubs will be be crowded with new faces all determined to lose weight and get in shape—their New Year’s resolutions for 2026. Past experience tells me the crowd will thin out, generally within a few weeks, and New Year’s resolutions will be abandoned. I may have been one of those faces. How and why do people actually change? One thing for sure is I can’t change anyone else, although I’ve never stopped trying. Yes, the buck stops with me! Does anyone have change for a buck? Anyway this whole idea of deciding to make a positive change and actually doing it is a mystery to me. I stopped smoking many years ago and I still don’t really understand how I did that! My Mother always said “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” I still hate to hear that because willpower is not easy to get and whatever it is I have so little of it, but I know my Mom was right. I’ve had so many years to cement bad habits, settle into comfortable inertia, and I fall asleep at 9 which doesn’t give me much time! My “default” settings are hard-wired and I’m guilty of thinking “This is just who I am”. In spite of all these concerns, there are still changes I want to make and goals I want to meet. I’m still here so there’s more to come! If one of my goals is to practice more self-acceptance that requires a change in my thinking and attitudes which may be the hardest of any changes to make. Most days I’m pretty optimistic, but some days I’m just tired!

a Wonder

So is it harder for older people to change? What does AI say? ChatGPT tells me “Short answer: yes, its usually harder-but very much still possible.” Who am I to argue with artificial intelligence? As an older adult I have certain advantages that young people lack when it comes to making the changes I desire. There’s always my, “Been there, done that.”, experiences which hopefully have taught me at least what does not work in changing myself. Giving myself permission to smoke according to a schedule never worked to make me a non-smoker, it had to be cold turkey. Rewarding myself with the poison I’m trying to banish from may life has never worked for me.  I don’t “reward” myself with booze or sugar. I know I have to start with small changes and consider slow progress a success. When I started running it was a block, then 5 blocks and so on- up to miles. I don’t believe in “whipping” myself into shape or anything else. I think the biggest difference in making changes in my life ,from my younger years to now, is my motivation for doing so.  I’m not trying to “stake my claim” in the world any longer. Success is something different now. I’m not trying to win, I’m trying to matter. I want to actively increase my participation  in  social, cultural and political arenas where I believe I can make a difference and be a part of the community. This is what I resolve for the new year:  Show up, practice gratitude and cherish family and friends everyday!  And of course lose 10 pounds, and learn how to do a back flip…

Possibilities aren’t endless, but the odds are pretty good this year will be better than 2025…. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026!

a WRINKLE a Week #7   

Yes Danita, there is no Santa Claus. No how, no way. Bah Humbug!  Grown-ups are such downers. Magic, fantasy, and wonder are for kids, not old people. I just want to skip Christmas and the forced gaiety.  I just set myself up for disappointment when the Norman Rockwell christmas I envision doesn’t happen. It never has!   A Martha Stewart christmas makes me tired just reading about it. Would my younger friends call Martha an influencer? Christmas cookies make me fat, eggnog does too. Reality is as irresistible as a club, but it’s the only story in town. I don’t drink anymore,  but several drinks of Baileys or hot buttered rum sounds better and better as each year comes around. “He knows when you’re naughty or nice.” I always choose naughty over nice and besides the old fart sounds like a stalker. And what about the  little creatures called elves? Elves are kinda cute, but their eyes are dead and evil and I don’t want one on my shelf!  If Santa (who does not exist) got stuck in my chimney I could die from carbon dioxide poisoning  because my  fireplace does not vent. Trump, our souless ,evil, dear leader said he is bringing back Christmas; this from a Scrooge, a grinch, a bad Santa, the anti-Christ and Satan . Our country is so sad and beaten down. What’s so “merry” about this Christmas?

a WONDER a week #7

What about the little girl inside of me who KNOWS there is a Santa Claus?Can I find the Spirit  of Christmas within me  if I can soften my heart? I  remember Christmas at the bookstore where I worked for many years. If I didn’t focus on my tired feet, there were many moments when I put the book my customer wanted in their hands and I got a big thank you and all was well. There was always the children’s book section and Santa bear to cheer me up. These memories can sustain me in the present day when my Christmas spirit wanes, I’ve found I can enjoy the elements of Christmas I love and let the rest go. I can enjoy the work that others do, the lights and decorating and baking. For me, I cherish all the Christmas lights that I believe can banish the darkness in our world. When I turn on the Christmas lights on my little trees, the lights soothe and comfort me. I love to cuddle with my doggies and feel the peace. Its not a flashy frantic “Everything, Everywhere, All At Once” kind of Christmas,  but it’s real. I  don’t need to believe in Santa to believe in the peace and joy of Chrismas.

a WRINKLE a week

Money doesn’t grow on trees. I have confirmed this. What a  “wrinkle” this is! From car loans to student loans to credit card balances, I’ve always paid my debts. Unfortunately, my debts lately are for decidedly unglamorous things; think dental work, hearing aids, glasses and physical therapy. I pay someone to mow my lawn and shovel my snow cause I have a major case of “Old”. I’ve learned money doesn’t s-t-r-e-t-c-h to cover whatever new expenses I may have, in fact, my emergency funds are shrinking. Social security is anything but. My anxiety about money has only increased under our incompetent, corrupt and crazy President. About 70% of the wealth in the US is concentrated in the top 10% percent. I’m in the other 90%. Follow the money! I hate feeling this helpless. Will I run out of money before I run out of life? Medical care and prescription drugs are necessities and all of these are costing me more now. What comes in has to be equal to or more than what goes out. I cut it very close some months. It feels like quicksand.

a WONDER a week

Obviously the more money I have the more things I can buy, but I’m getting tired of organizing stuff. I’ve figured out that less stuff means I spend less time organizing and more time having fun. Keep it simple is my new mantra and this keeps more money in my pocket. “A penny saved is a penny earned. “, but pennies are not even being minted anymore so this cliche is dead. I invest my money, cross my fingers and pay attention. I’m proactive and have a “money” guy who helps me manage my money. My friend and I have a unique money exchange!  Money rarely passes between us because our debts with each are often paid in “coffees”, i.e that item will cost me the 2 coffees I need to purchase for you. Sometimes we lose track, but overall it works for us. It feels better for us to be on the coffee exchange.  You’ll see me in thrift stores and rarely at the malls.  Used is ok with me and I have a lot of fun creating a “ new” treasure. I’m used and I’m a treasure  I create every day. Sometimes I can’t get that thing Ihave to have and that hurts, but having enough money to get what I need is priority. And I have to  replace my fence which blew down last night. At least my money tree survived the wind storm….

A Wrinkle and a Wonder a Week #5

a WRINKLE a week

Act your age! This is what we say to children when they are  acting up in some way that we view as troublesome or silly and not age appropriate. We expect they can do better. We may not verbalize it, but we also expect our olders ( my preferred term) to act their age. What does that mean? There is my belly button age, and then there is -how I act, how I feel, how I look and how I think. I may think my “age” is solely determined by the calendar, but lots of people will tell me how “old”I am. Cultural expectations and ageism are strong currents to swim against. And, sometimes too old is too old!  Trump is too old to be president and I’m too old to become a prima ballerina. That’s not ageism, that’s reality. Research from Harvard  found that those who hold negative beliefs about their aging, die sooner, by as much as seven years!. What I think about my own aging can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. “ I think I’m old, therefore I am! So act my age? What does that mean? 

a Wonder a week

I give myself a break on how I handle my aging, after all, this is my first time at this. There are some good examples and certainly some bad examples, but it is fundamentally up to me to invent it as I go along. Considering the mine field I tip toe through daily, I think I’m doing pretty well for a novice. I don’t get up every day, look in the mirror and say “Let’s do this!”, but I bet few people, young or old, do. I show up and occupy the world in my own unique way. Ageism is very insidious.Have you really thought about the “old people” jokes we hear? Here’s a Google listing:  “75 ‘Old People Jokes’ for Seniors to Laugh at and Feel Seen. Laughter is the best medicine for aging.” This sounds like a suggestion to take your “laugh” pill and you oldies won’t see that you are being laughed “at” and not “with”. “ Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” Is this funny? I’m not laughing. Just tell me a good dirty joke instead. So I guess it’s all about my attitude and the “wonder” is I get to choose my attitude and determine what getting old means to me. The situation is in flux!