A WRINKLE and a WONDER a Week #9
a Wrinkle
“Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.” We all remember when we’ve looked at the clock and thought, “I can’t believe it’s that’s time already!” Getting older has really put the concept of time front and center in my life, especially thinking about how much time I have left and how much time I’ve wasted! Everyday I think I just need some more time, and then I can hear the Universe laughing at me. How I am spending my time determines how joyful and meaningful my life is. Whining and complaining are a waste of my limited time. Doing things I don’t want to do, but think I should do —another waste of time. People pleasing and trying to be perfect -you guessed it, another waste of time. Yet, I’m guilty of choosing any or all of these options much too often. Some things simply require a certain amount of time. I have to wait 15 minutes for my Covid rapid test results. Baking something for too short a time makes for inedible food. Self checkout is quicker, but I still have to wait for a scanner to be free. I spend a lot of time waiting. “I had a great time waiting today.” said no one ever. All of us have to spend some time doing things we don’t want to do in order to keep our lives going smoothly: cleaning house, putting gas in our cars, buying diapers and groceries, getting our bills paid, getting colonoscopies, etc…. Unless we can pay someone to do those things for us, but there’s still the colonoscopy we have to do for ourselves. I make time for preventative health exams in hopes I’ll earn more time for my total life span. Can I really save time or take time? It seems the only thing about time that I can control is how I decide to use it. Time has speeded up and the years pass so quickly now. I could barely wait for Santa Claus, it was such a long time to wait, but now I worry that I’m not paying attention to all the wonderful moments that present to me. Too soon it will be “Time’s up!”
a Wonder
Death comes for everyone. As I experience the loss of family members and friends I am reminded my time is finite. I’m not immortal and I’m not sure I really want to be. Can I make a bargain with time? Time makes no deals, with anyone. When it’s time it’s time. I need to hold the fragility of life in my mind, while choosing how I spend my days. I can’t make more time, but I can make better time. Spending time on B when I really want to spend more time on A is my choice. I can’t do 2 things at once. As Red says in “Shawshank Redemption”, “You’re either busy livin’ or busy dyin’.” And I remind myself that this life is not a rehearsal, it’s opening night and closing night rolled into one, and it’s all improv! When I’m reading, writing and crafting I tend to get so focused that I’m not paying attention to time passing, but I think this is the opposite of wasting time. I’m using up time, but I’m also nourishing myself, filling myself up. I want more of life in my days no matter how many days I have left. I’ve learned a few things about time management even if it’s more like time manages me. I try to avoid calling any medical or business office on Mondays, unless I want to live my life “on hold “ or “on speaker”. I have more flexibility as a retired person, so often I can avoid the busy times or put myself on wait lists for openings. Mastering online business or portals really does speed things up. Keep it simple, less clutter, less stuff to pay attention to and waste time on. If I have to wait for something I read or walk around. If there’s a quicker and easier way to get something done, I want to know about it. I have my connections with helpful people who I know I can trust. Knowing who to talk to saves a lot of time. Please don’t make me tell my story again! I’ll count myself lucky, if when I get to the pearly gates, I get to tell St.Peter, “Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.”
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