31 Days

For me, the 31 days of October are rich with sentiment, and emotional highs and lows. I look forward to October with anticipation and trepidation, very ambivalent. Consumers are quite enthusiastic about Halloween, spending 8.4 billion on costumes, candy, decor and being frightened. The scream houses give adrenaline junkies a good fix. I know it will be a rough ride for me. I will get my adrenaline rush from the fight or flight response.

My son was born in October and he is the best gift life has ever given me. I wanted a child so badly, and the universe did not disappoint me. He is now a young man, doing well as he travels thru life. I enjoy spending time with him and appreciate his dry sense of humor. Now if he could get married and give me a grandchild to spoil!

My father died in October. I remember it was a beautiful fall day and my grief turned the leaves gray. He was a gentleman in overalls. He could talk to anyone, and genuinely liked people. I treasure the compliment he gave me about how well I was doing with my son. After a weekend at home, when I left to return to college he never failed to show up to say goodbye. He loved to hear about the roads we took to get home, especially if we discovered a short cut. He didn’t need to worry, our destination was the farm, and the gentleman farmer.

My friend Gayle went home to Florida to die. She died in October. She was 26 years old. It was melanoma and it had spread to her spine. The last time I saw her we went to a Rod Stewart concert at Fiddlers Green. We had the best time, getting into the music. Gayle complained that her back hurt, but said she was having a great time. “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart

And of course, there is my Halloween birthday, October 31, 1952. My Mom says she could hear trick or treaters outside her hospital window. When I am asked about my Halloween costume , I often say I will wear my birthday suit. Halloween kind of over shadows my birthday. When I was young, my birthdays were notorious for break ups with boyfriends and other sad events. Last year I spent my birthday with Roger, helping him to die a good death. He died the day after Halloween , November 1, 2015.

Not all my birthdays were sad, and I am looking forward to my birthday this year. My banjo teacher has me learning the Beatles song “When I’m 64” for my 64th birthday! The other song I am working on is “Ring of Fire”. Turning 64 is like falling into a ” burning ring of fire” . Life goes on, and my Halloween costume is ready to go! The wrinkles are so realistic…

1 thought on “31 Days”

  1. I love this post. “A gentleman in overalls”–what a wonderful way to describe Dad. And I love that you are learning “When I’m 64” 🙂 Strum on sister!
    Gayle, Dad, and Roger will hear you.


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