When I was a child, at every family holiday celebration there was a grown-up table and a kid’s table. It was a big deal when I graduated to the grown-up’s table. I’m now 70 years old and I’m ready to go back to the kid’s table. My son who is 37 is a grown – up, but at 70 I am not really sure if I am a grown-up. I could just be old. Grown-ups seem like they are in control of their lives, it’s an illusion, but they look good!
Adulting is an informal term often used to describe behavior that is seen as responsible and grown-up. This involves meeting the mundane demands of independent and professional living, such as paying bills and running errands, not to mention raising children. I don’t know if I am adulting now, but I’m pretty sure I was a grown up most of the time when I was raising my son.
My son has a good job, owns his home, is responsible and seems sure of his beliefs and faith. He seems to have more answers than he has questions. I have one answer for every ten questions.My beliefs and faith are not melded together in a consistent and meaningful way. I don’t have a mission statement. Aren’t I supposed to have a mission statement? After I asked him for some advice, my son commented that it’s parents who give advice to their children, not the other way around. I said I’ll listen to advice wherever it comes from, especially from someone who knows me well. He shared an observation of me that although painful to hear I knew was true. I wanted to spew out “ You have a lot to learn yet and I’m old and wise you know.” Good thing I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to sound like a teenager who is always right. Grownups know “ I could be wrong” is the mature thing to say. I’m in trouble because I have a mountain of resistance to admitting I may be wrong. My son makes sure I am aware of this fact.
I don’t want to grow up if adulting means I become conforming, in-tolerant and a rule follower. I don’t want to stop playing, having fun or being silly. Psychologists have put forth theories of life stages, all seem to agree that elders have often gained wisdom that can be passed down to younger generations. The missing piece in all of these theories about aging and saging is that age does not always bring an audience willing to listen. Besides, no one really learns from other’s experiences, it is only their own experiences. If you are busy adulting and raising a family, who has time to listen anyway? Jr. has to get to his soccer game and marriages need to be saved.
Meanwhile I’m busy living and loving, trying new things, feeling new feelings and doing what I love. I don’t need a label to put me in my place in the human life cycle.
agingwrinklesandwondersdot.com 
Wonderful to reflect on how we were kids, grown-ups and now again have the privilege of being “kids” again; living and enjoying life, with no labels. It’s pretty amazing when our children are insightful, caring and successful grown-ups; it seems like only yesterday (cliché, but true) that they were children with all the questions. And sometimes it’s hard when they know us better than we know ourselves – they were really paying attention all those years, learning what to do, and what NOT to do from our past experiences! OK, I know that we aren’t ALWAYS right, but we are MOST of the time, aren’t we?!
LikeLike
We are right like almost all the time with rare exceptions. It is a privilege to be a kid at 70! Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
Enjoyed this.
LikeLike
Glad you enjoyed, now let’s go play.
LikeLike
The fact that you were able to write this delightful piece means you’re doing very well at “adulting”.
LikeLike
I could just be good at faking it or pretending? I guess maturing, continuing to grow is my goal. Thanks for reading and supporting my “adulting “!
LikeLike
Adulting is different things at different time’s of our lives. Being flexible at the appropriate times in your life doesn’t mean “faking or pretending”. In fact, from reading your post, it would seem you’re doing it while remaining true to yourself and your belief in who you are. Good for you.
LikeLike