a wrinkle
This is my State of the Union Address. Trauma. Everyday, all day. I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ( PTSD) so for me this is no exaggeration or hyperbole. The assault is relentless and constant. Trump and his MAGA minions are doing or saying threatening, hateful and cruel things every hour of everyday. There are so many distressing things going on in our country, politically, fiscally, socially and within our world alliances, so there is much fodder for trauma and outrage. I can’t seem to ignore the siege of Minneapolis and the death of Renee Gold. What if it is really as bad as I think it is? My body and mind are responding the same way I responded to traumas I’ve experienced in the past. So I think this is easy to address: stop watching or reading any media and live under a rock in complete isolation. That should work. I know there are other alternatives, but I am having a difficult time figuring out how to navigate from living in total denial to being triggered with no relief. I am a person who wants to know what is going on, who wants to be informed. I am intensely curious. And because I suffer from PTSD, I tend to be hyper-vigilant, scanning my environment for threats and danger. “Danger, danger Will Robinson”, for those of us old enough to remember. In short, what a perfect political environment to feed my fears and offer no reprieve. I know I’m not the only person who shares my fears, perhaps I am not overreacting, but maybe I should just shut up, develop an attitude of who cares and learn to unsee what I see. It can’t get any worse can it? Don’t answer that!
a wonder
Trauma is cumulative. What is going on now? What’s the trouble? Can’t relax because everything is coming at me at once with no time to rest and restore myself . My hope is my coping skills are cumulative too. I can add on to what works to help me respond to trauma in a better way. I can draw on what I have learned from past traumas. I am talking about resilience; which is the ability to become healthy, strong and successful after trauma. I get up one more time than I fall down. I rest when I need to and find comfort and nurture where it is. I limit my social media/ news media time and stop watching or following a couple of hours before bed time. It’s the stuff of insomnia and nightmares. I read a lot of fiction and escape into stories. When I am feeling particularly powerless I try to find one small thing I can do, like writing this post, or making a sign to use at the protest I am going to. I hit the streets to peacefully take action and raise my voice with my fellow resisters. When the news is particularly dire, I cry. And sometimes nothing seems to work and I have to tell myself to just hang on. It may not be pretty, but I will get through this and this too shall pass. My rage is the emotion that can consume me. Hate can and does sneak in if I’m not careful. It is so seductive! In the meantime, I could learn some new swear words, and spend time on Zillow looking for a cozy little home under a rock with no WiFi, T.V.or phone service….
agingwrinklesandwondersdot.com 
Powerful and painful. These are difficult times.
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