A Wrinkle and a Wonder a Week # 11

a Wrinkle 

I’m not Mr. Rogers, but several of my neighbors have decided they don’t want to be my neighbors any more.  U-Haul trucks and cardboard boxes are plentiful on my street. I’ve stayed for over 30 years and my neighbors come and go. I’m feeling kinda blue and not sure I have the words to explain myself. The view out my kitchen window is changing again, different people, cars, dogs etc. Of course I really miss my doggie neighbors when they leave. I have waves of sadness seeing empty yards formerly occupied by my canine friends.   I witness these changes and wonder if I’m just the nosy old lady in the neighborhood. Not a flattering look for me. I’ve had several people on my block tell me they see me walking my dogs everyday and they take comfort in the regularity and routine of seeing me. Wow. I’m an inspiration and I didn’t know it. On bad days I think this is what’s left for me as others leave and go on with their glorious  lives!  A big move for people my age is into assisted living. I think for me it’s all about being left behind and feeling invisible. The grass may not be greener in the next yard, but at least those who move out have the chance to see a different yard. Young people are mobile as they become adults, as school and work may keep them on the move. And then there are those awful neighbors that have made my life more difficult (a living hell) at times. It also pains me to know that there really is little I can do to remedy the “bad neighbor” situation. The police and many HOA boards refuse to get involved until someone is physically hurt or property destroyed. Too little, too late. 

I’ve experienced “good” neighbors being driven out of the neighborhood by intolerable neighbors. In spite of these risky situations, I still want the opportunity to be part of a neighborhood community.

a Wonder

I  think that feeling sad when my neighbors move away is a good sign that I made a connection, and our lives intersected in some meaningful way. I’ve  helped  them and they so generously have helped me. Saying hello and chatting with my neighbors is an important anchor for me. I’ve enjoyed having young adults and young families as my neighbors. It reminds me that there  are hopeful beginnings. I don’t want to be just the old lady next door. The kids next door have addressed me by name,“Hi Danita!”, ever since they were toddlers. It feels good to not be addressed as  “Hey Lady”.When a snowstorm buries us, shoveling out almost becomes a party as we all venture out of our houses. When the HOA board is being  an asshole we can band together to commiserate . A few neighbors have brought me joy because they have left! Even in these circumstances I’ve felt a sense of unity with my neighbors who suffer with me . As I stand at  my kitchen sink,  the view from my window is a kaleidoscope  of life. Kids are playing, dogs are being walked,  neighbors are saying hello as they get into their cars to head to work and  U-Haul trucks are being loaded almost ready to leave the neighborhood. I wonder if Joe found a new job, or how Mari feels after getting thru COVID. I tell those who are moving out good luck. When the neighbors who have become my friends leave I cry and am grateful they were in my life. I stay and soon I will welcome new neighbors who will, I hope,  bring joy to my days.  I remember: “I don’t need a mansion if I have good neighbors.”