I pressed my nose against the cold window glass and kept my eyes peeled for Rudolph’s Red nose and Santa’s sleigh. My breath fogged the window and I had to keep wiping it off. Mom had told me to keep an eye out for Santa. Translation ” You’re driving me crazy, get out of my hair and watch for Santa.” I figured if I saw a red light it was Rudolph’s nose, and the next sound I would hear would be reindeer hoofs on the roof. I saw a lot of red lights and heard hoofs on the roof, but Santa never came down the chimney. Soon I was distracted by supper and the decade of the Rosary we always said, on our knees, before we could search for Santa’s presents. Sometimes Dad slipped out, but I never suspected. After the Rosary, we were led by Dad to places in the house that Santa may have left our gifts. Of course Dad took a round- about way to get to Santa’s delivery. I was so excited for the gifts to be divvied up so I could tear the wrapping off and see my treasures. This was Christmas Eve….

Spoiler alert. There is no Santa Claus. Don’t tell Virginia. In 1897, the New York Sun responded to a letter from Virginia “Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus.” Not true! Our parents buy the gifts and pretend that Santa came. The editorial in the Sun does beautifully affirm the spirit of Christmas. Read the entire editorial and you will be believing in Santa too. In my home town Santa came to town in the back of a red pickup traveling slowly down Main Street. Oh the excitement! Every child got a little bag of candy and trinkets. And if Santas beard was a bit askew who cared?

Three wiseman followed a star to worship the baby born in Bethlehem. What are the names of the three wisemen? If your guess is Bubba, Dude and Billy Bob you are not smarter than a fifth grader.

Cups is “my” coffee shop, and right now I am listening to the Christmas music playing. I know all the words, so I sing along in my head. I have my favorites and some Christmas songs should be banned. I sang soprano in several High School Christmas concerts. I loved it! How can you feel bad singing Christmas songs? One year the girls wore silver paper dresses. Really. The silver was set off by pink or red collar wraps. I remember the crinkly sound of the dresses as we walked in and took our places on the steps. I worried if the lights were too hot we could burst into flames. Fa la la. No smoking.

The Three Wisemen brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. What is myrrh? Can you smoke it?

My son teaches logic at CSU, he will tell you all about logic. It’s too bad humans don’t seem to be very logical, or even make much sense most of the time. I am experiencing emotional contradictions this Christmas. How can I feel hope for a growing season for me and still feel very sad . I think it is called bittersweet. I just checked google for the definition of bittersweet: 1.pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret <a bittersweet ballad> 2 : of or relating to a prepared chocolate containing little sugar. Being a dark chocolate lover I get definition 2, but living the “suffering or regret” of definition 1., AND feeling hope and joy at the same time is difficult. Dr. Spock is right, this is not logical, but it is my Christmas this year.

Merry Christmas!

2 thoughts on “Christmas”

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