I must say 2018 has not been a stellar year for me, and barring any last minute miracles, the year will end with a whimper. I know I have a wonderful sister who lives, breathes, writes and fosters gratitude, but forgive me if I don’t choose gratitude for 2018. Challenging myself to quickly name three things I associate with the last year, I come up with lies, deadly storms/fires and crying children separated from their mothers. Nothing pretty about any of those things. You could argue that these happenings are macro, meaning of the political or cultural world and not really about me, my micro world. Unfortunately the macro has become the micro. My home was burned to the ground or blown away by hurricane winds, a child alone and crying was my child and my world was polluted with deceit and lies. In order to breathe I wear a mask of denial to filter out a reality that is poison. Is it really this bad? Yes.
The whole is theoretically greater than its parts, but what if the whole is less than its parts? Together we have become the lowest common denominator of community. I got turned around and around and my “moral compass” has taken sometime to again calibrate to true North. The Svengali and Pied Pipers say “Come this way, we are not our brothers keeper, hate and greed are our path. Sell your soul for a small piece of the pie.” Our values are being watered down every day, and soon will be so diluted we will be unable to remember a “we” exists. America is being led by a petulant bully who is incapable of empathy. I want to apologize to the world. I am so sorry and ashamed that he is being enabled to deny climate change and dirty our air and water. I am so ashamed that the “us” excludes you if your skin is not white and your faith could be cause for murder. I can’t understand how commitments and partnerships have come to mean so little, but I guess when the “truth isn’t the truth” nothing matters. Nothing. Matters.
I have voted, called and written my representatives, and held signs and protested. Still the arrogant Bully is in the Oval Office surrounded by spineless sycophants. If I had any talent for drawing cartoons I would quite enjoy depicting this scene. Certain people in the U.S. must have been ripe for picking by racist whitey-tighteys. Reason can’t persuade hate to step aside. It seems that hate is not based on reason, but on fear. I have to believe that Love trumps fear.
In spite of it all I feel a spark of hope for the new year. I am not sure why, but perhaps I have lived long enough to know “That this too shall pass.” Change will come too slow for me, but it will come. WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS.