Running Away

I am now jogging 3 miles a day 6 days a week! Yes, that deserves at least one exclamation point. After aborting several times due to knee pain, I followed my doctors suggestion : start slow and build up slowly. As you all know going slowly and patience are not what I am known for. And yes I am too old, but I am doing it anyway. I am thrilled that I am able to run again and even have those moments when running is easy and it feels good. Seeing different areas around my home makes me feel like an explorer who is seeing the old with new eyes. The view from 67 is hopeful, realistic and makes me laugh. I laugh because it really is funny how life has slapped me around, but I’m still standing, running and content.

What runs through my head as my feet move and I breathe hard, is not likely to win the Pulitzer Prize for literature. It goes something like this: “ It is 8:20, 8:50 will be a half hour so lock it in and stop looking at your watch. Pay attention to what’s in front of you— no falls. Which way to go? This way. Not too cold this morning. I have to go to work so better move fast when I get home. I wonder how Tyler is doing today. What the hell should I write about this week. I can’t think of anything. How about this..no..how about this? What am I going to wear today? God I’m so glad I can run! This feels good. I am so grateful I CAN do this and I AM doing this. Keep going….” My musings will not bring world peace or cure cancer, but I take comfort in the mundane. Many years ago when I ran I often tested out the “perfect” comeback to whichever battle I was in. Why didn’t I say that? That beeach, how dare she? Or I imagined how my current boyfriend would fall in love with me. So yes, the mundane is comforting.

Why on earth would I freely choose to go through the painful ordeal of beginning to run again and working up to 3 miles? The short answer is I didn’t start out to do this. I simply wanted to see if I could jog to the end of the block. Maybe I could do 2 blocks? I felt ok, so let’s see if I can go a little further. Work up slowly the doctor said.  So I began and kept promises to myself, slow and steady. 40 years ago I used to chant “ A for effort, no A for pretty.” Nike and I chanted “Just do it!” I write, play banjo, crochet and run with a “Just do it!” mantra. I explore new things without expecting that I will be an expert, again starting out slowly and keep going.

I run from my home back to my home, I end where I started. So I am running away from home at the same time as I running back to my home! Now that’s a conundrum for sure….  The thing is I don’t care, coming or going, I am still running. 

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