I use the term “run” loosely because a fast shuffle is more like it. “Look at that old lady kinda running with her two tiny dogs. Doesn’t she look funny?” Forest Gump had good form at least. The dogs look pretty good as they jog along, but I sure look slow and I’m breathing pretty hard. I keep going for a couple of miles and occasionally encourage the doggies to keep up. I think they may be laughing at me, but on bad days I can hear them cheering me on, ‘Run, Danita, Run”. They are on my side because I feed them and I am their Lord and Master.
Yep, my profile has been updated to a gray-haired, chubby, almost 69 year old woman. The thing is I’m happier now than I was at 25. I don’t even wish I was 25! This is interesting because at 25 I was sure that 69 year old women were way, way over the hill. If I am over the hill, then I prefer the scenery on this side of the hill. There are “wonders” of aging and I see them with my spectacled eyes and feel them in my heart strengthened by exercise. I believe these are good years for me.
So how did I get here? I followed the straight and narrow path and took the road less travelled. I followed lots of rules and blatantly broke others. I was right when I was wrong and wrong when I was right. I was apathetic and passionate. I screamed and I whispered. I cried in moments of incredible joy and in moments of incredible grief. I won some and lost some. What has happened to me and the diverse choices I made in the past haven’t delivered happiness to my doorstep. I didn’t follow a path to happiness. Abe Lincoln said “We’re as happy as we make up our minds to be.” and I think he may be right. Others have said“Happiness is an inside job.” It’s not our outer circumstances that bring us happiness, it’s our inner circumstances. I have many reasons to be unhappy, but I choose to focus on grateful acceptance. My eyes see the same things, but its my heart and brain that interprets how I feel about it. I feel happy.
If you are wondering, I assure you I’m sober and in touch with reality and frou-frou is not my style. I lead a simple life that is full of abundance. I have everything I need and a lot of things I want. Wishing and hoping are distractions. Most mornings I tie my shoes, leash up Roscoe and Molly and head out to shuffle run for a couple of miles. I leave from my house and always end up back at my house, but in between there is my journey of joy.