Know Thy Self

Philosophy can be an exercise in “Oh the Thinks You Can Think”, but remember “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s too small to be out by itself.” I’m thinking of my philosophy more as guidelines for living which are useful and practical, and not just theoretical constructs.

I’ve had a lot of years to consider my philosophy of life, it’s not static, but I do  have  beliefs and philosophical tenets that I know to be true.  I am a member of a 12 step program so I embrace the Steps. I’m also a believer in Stoic principles which are some of the building blocks for the 12 Steps. Those greek Stoic philosophers nailed it! The word stoic has evolved to a rather unflattering meaning, but the ancient Greek Stoic philosophers were not unemotional, detached or lacking joy. I wish I could have spent an afternoon with Marcus Aurelius, I know I would have enjoyed myself.

So to keep it simple, I’ve boiled down my practical and aspirational  philosophy to 3 points:

3.Keep it Simple : If you are not disciplined and determined to keep it simple, we all know that weddings for immediate family “only”can end up with a guest list of 300 people. Considering a plan B can be a healthy  approach,  but if I have a plan Z I’ve gone way too far. I can’t plan for all scenarios. (See point 2)  I’d rather be living than planning and worrying. What are my priorities? I can clean up my household clutter and my social and emotional clutter. I don’t “have to” show up to every event I’m invited to. I am not bound  to friendships that may be toxic or unfulfilling. My goal is to live a low maintainence life style. I am determined to prioritize family and friends and keep it simple. I let things that don’t work for me fall away. 

2.Shit Happens : Life is generous in manifesting a host of things that hurt us and scare us. It can, and does, rain on our parade. People we love die and tornadoes wipe out entire towns. Resistance is doomed to fail, we really can’t make this shit up! Wishing and hoping  aren’t very helpful either. I’ve come to believe that acceptance is the answer, but at times it takes painful time to arrive at acceptance.  Only then can I decide if I can do anything to respond. Life is not out to get me, it just is. Painful. Joyful. Scary. Awesome…

3. The bedrock of Stoic philosophy and all 12 step programs is to change what I can, and accept what I cannot change. I know and feel this to be true. As the Serenity prayer says, we need to “have the wisdom to know the difference” and that is the journey of my lifetime.  When shit happens or joy happens,and we know it will, how do I respond instead of just react?It is silly and tragic to spend much of my life trying to change what I cannot change. It is not under my control to change other people , places or things. I cannot make someone love me, make it rain or live forever. Time spent on these impossible endeavors means I have less time to focus on the few things I can control: my thoughts and my behavior. I’m learning to ask myself the right questions about what I can and cannot control. Living this way scares me at times, but it is also freeing and keeps things simple when shit or joy happens. My time is too precious to resist life in all its tragedies and glories. 

I’m going to read this book :”Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations” by Jules Evans . The title makes me smile as well as these “gems”I found.

Roscoe and Molly don’t eat books. Thank God for that!

I resemble this.