I wish I didn’t know now, what I didn’t know then. Bob Seger
If I can’t get a crystal ball, can I at least have a genie in a bottle who looks like Brad Pitt? Can’t blame a girl for trying! I’ve always thought about what my 3 wishes would be. I’ve wished for a lot of things, but so far wishing does not make it so. Even Dorothy couldn’t go home until she got the ruby slippers off the wicked witch. If a genie is responsible for giving me what I want, I am in big trouble because genies are in very short supply. With no crystal ball I really don’t know if getting what I want will make me happy anyway. Then theres always that warning “Be careful what you wish for.” I’ve also worried that I wouldn’t know what to wish for and my indecision would make me mute.
Where is my magic wand? I could just wave it around and poof! my Tesla and mansion would magically appear. No sweat off my brow. Unfortunately, their appearance would surely alert the authorities, and I might be accused of theft, or other illegal activities, and find myself in an orange jumpsuit. How would I make sure that no one stole my wand? I could be diagnosed with obsessive and compulsive wanding. Oh my!
Remember the Ouija Board? A bunch of giggling teenagers wanting to know if Billy Bob liked us! I still don’t really understand how it works, but I guess I’ll go with our unconscious minds make the “selector” work. It would appear our minds are unconscious search engines. Maybe I needed to believe because real life was just too full of uncertainty and anxiety. It’s that “Knowledge is power” principle. I didn’t want to wait for life to unveil itself when I could get the answers I needed now. Crystal Ball thinking….
What do all of these things have in common? They all demonstrate magical thinking. Magical thinking means “ someone believes their thoughts or behaviors can affect an outcome of an event or the behaviors of others when there’s no evidence to suggest that’s possible.” I don’t have a crystal ball, a genie with my three wishes, or a magic wand and yet sometimes I still believe I can change outcomes I have no control over. A lot of my “If , then.” thinking is really magical thinking. If I do this then I will get the outcome I want. i.e. If I lose 10 pounds then he will love me.or If I don’t study because I am so smart, then I will still get an A. The universe is laughing at me! Its kinda like Trump saying that he can “just think it” and he can declassify documents! I cant “think” cancer away, or “think” I won’t get old, or even make the light turn green .
I can control my attitudes and behaviors and that’s it. So I simply need to know and remember what I can and can’t do, and let go of the idea I will be rescued. I am responsible for my own beliefs and actions, and there is no magic to change this truth. There is some good news—I can stop trying to people-please so people will love me. I can’t make anyone love me! I don’t have to wait for the world or circumstances to change before I can change. The future needn’t concern me if I do what I can in each moment. So Mr. Truman and I agree “The buck stops with me.”
“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment. You create a good future by creating a good present.” Eckhart Tolle
4 thoughts on “It’s Not Magic”
Good stuff D.
“…our minds are unconscious search engines” – love that.
Thanks. It just seemed to fit cause I’m always searching for ?
Something many of us (ME!) can learn from – thanks for posting!
Never too old to learn new tricks!