Lions, and Tigers and Bears

Bears, lots of bears! Recently, Fort Collins has had many reports of bears in the city. A big black bear wondered thru my neighborhood several days  ago . A bear visited CSU campus on move- in day, he was expelled.  The proliferation of  surveillance cameras catches photogenic bears during the night as they stroll thru our neighborhoods. They’re hungry! Their food supply has dwindled in the high country because of the severe drought we are experiencing . I’d like to have a protective bubble surrounding me so I could watch their activities up close without fear of being attacked. I am mostly concerned about my doggies safety. And then there’s rattlesnakes and mountain Iions. I am both curious and afraid. 

This feeling of being both curious and afraid is familiar to me. I hold both of these feelings at the same time, and this means I have little clarity. I approach, think about it,  turn around and repeat.  This 2 step dance is exhausting.

Of course, I don’t think about playing with bears, but there are things I’d like to try but am too fearful. I even do one step forward and two steps back with my progression to a ripe old age.  I’m Ok with my wrinkles one day, and searching Amazon for Brazilian Bum Crème the next day. I want to learn to swim and I’m ready to sign up for an adult learn to swim class.  Then I think about being seen in a swim suit, and being very bad at it, and I dog paddle the other way!  I took Zumba for several years when I was younger and I liked it , but now I shake my bootie whether I want to or not, and I’m afraid I will look like a bowl of jello. I’m afraid to be the new person in almost any class, but especially in Beginning Line Dancing. I could cause a 20 person pileup. I just realized I’m doing a lot of “ Yes, but..” and the end result is often I just don’t try.

Remember in kindergarten we were paired up with the “buddy system” to help each other and the teacher maintain order. When we were facing uncertainity,   “Find your buddy, hold hands.”  was the direction we got.  Whenever I can, I try to find a buddy to support me when I am venturing into new unknown situations. I often ask my good friend to go to “complicated” Doctor appointments with me. She hears things that I miss and takes notes when the information is complicated. My buddy can provide moral support, if, and that’s a big if,  I ask for it and accept it. Maybe I can find someone in my friend circle to try something with me, but I have to ask. I resist asking for help so my excuses for not doing something may never see the light of day.  I tell myself I can do this by myself, but what exactly am I trying to accomplish?  I do need “ to get by with a little help from my friends.”

 So what about those bears? They are very scary and I should be afraid. So I  notify Colorado Wildlife and my neighbors of bear sightings. I don’t invite bears to feast on my garbage, and put the cans in my garage. I encourage my neighbors to do the same. I go with my doggies when I let them in the backyard and am vigilant about scanning the surrounding area. I do what I can, but the bears have their own agenda. I can go to the zoo to satisfy my curiosity about wild animals. I’ll bring a buddy when I go hiking, so in case of bear encounters I am not alone and isolated. Remember “Don’t feed the bears!” They are not friends with Yogi Bear!