I am horrified (and a tiny bit amused) at the games of Pass the buck, Hot potato and Telephone being played at the White House. It’s very Stormy! Personal responsibility, integrity and truth are distant memories. He said, she said, No, I mean yes, that’s the truth until it isn’t, I didn’t do it, that’s not my job, ask Michael, ask Rudy and it’s all up to Sean. A perfect storm of “I am not responsible!” While I would love to just point fingers at guilty parties in Washington, I must confess that I have a few hot potatoes in my closet, plenty of excuses, and some lies and blame too.
Let’s define terms:
excuse: something (such as a condition or set of conditions) that explains improper behavior and makes it acceptable
lie: to make an untrue statement with “intent” to deceive
blame: to say or think that a person is responsible for something bad that has happened
Looking at these definitions in black and white is pretty scary isn’t it? My first reaction is that I am a “better” person than those sleazy people, the liars, blamers and excusers. I have a sneaking suspicion that I “…doth protest too much.” How many times have I used the “I am sick.” lie to get out of work or an unwelcome invitation? Some of my excuses are long winded because I am justifying or explaining. If you ask me, it’s not my fault. So now what?
What happens at the Whitehouse is out of my hands(I vote), but I am responsible for my own behavior. No excuses! The buck stops with me. President Truman accepted responsibility for dropping the atomic bomb on Japan so certainly I can own my own behavior. Not every lie I tell is devious, at times I “misrepresent” my feelings. When I respond “I’m fine.” and the truth is I am anything but fine, I am lying. I heard recently that “fine” is not a feeling. The lies I tell myself are often motivated by my desire to protect myself. I can lie without saying a word i.e I don’t say anything when a group of people are laughing at a racist joke or I don’t say I feel like Mexican food when my partner says Italian food. One of the beauties of truth is that it is so much simpler, I don’t need to concoct a story or pretend. How will I know if someone loves ME if I don’t show them who I really am?
When we say someone is jaded we usually mean they are not innocent or of good character. Deb E. in the March 2018 issue of The Forum has a perfect acronym for J.A.D.E.:
Justifying my actions
Arguing my position
Defending myself against blame
Explaining why I’m right
I turned this into a rap for myself, and it is bad, very bad. My rap helps me to remember jaded is not an adjective I want used to describe me.
1 thought on “The Buck Stops Here”
Ouch – this painfully hits close to home for me. Thanks for the necessary nudge of discomfort.