3-2-1 Blast Off

Here it is, it’s July already. I’m not planning to do Christmas in July, but this year I’ve decided I need to redo my 2024 New Year’s resolutions.  I just got back from our annual June trip to Iowa. It seems appropriate to consider what direction I want the rest of the year to go. Lots of food for thought while I also stuffed myself with Iowa goodies.

I’m aiming to find my true north. The idiom “true north” refers to finding or proceeding on the correct course or in the right direction. I know that literally and metamorphically, my compass has been off this year. Some uncomfortable changes were forced on me, but I am solely to blame for the poor choices I made. Me, myself and I. Remember how those little wind up toys just took off on the tabletop, heading every which way and making random abrupt turns ..that’s me!

I get clarity when I go home to Iowa to visit my family, especially because my adult son comes along. He “sees” things differently from me so I am encouraged to let go of some of the expectations and resentments I carry. I can open my old eyes to see the beauty of Iowa and the beauty of the love in my family. So Resolution 3: Pay attention to the stories I tell myself and challenge myself to consider telling myself stories that bring connection with others and not isolation. I am not always right! I was wrong when I figured Lena’s and Ollie’s Food truck with “Norwegian brats” would suck. Who knew  lefse and brats go together quite well! Who knew that despite all the vast differences between my siblings and me, l can love each and every one. 

Resolution 2: Dont take it personally. I’m responsible for my own feelings and not everyone will think I am a goddess. People pleasing ends up pleasing no one. Judging and comparing myself with others leads to disconnection. In the unlikely event that someone disagrees with me I can listen, agree to disagree and let respect be the guiding principle. I’m not less than or more than. I’m realizing how judgmental I am. What an ego! I am one of many and it is enough to be good enough and not the best or impossibly perfect. It is true that the world does not revolve around me, and if it did it would have a very wonky orbit. 

I’ve been thinking about “niceness” and whether I am a “nice” person. I’m thinking of nice as “pleasant, polite and agreeable”.  I’ve decided my most important resolution, Resolution 1 is: Don’t be nice. Be kind, authentic and compassionate. None of these traits require that I always do what others think I should do. Being truthful with myself is critical. If there is uncomfortable silence after I’ve said something, it could mean I need to “Shut the f**k up.”, or it could mean I have just voiced a truth that others believe shouldn’t be talked about or want to stay in denial about. Did you just step on my toes, or am I wearing huge clown shoes or vice versa ? Is there really an elephant trampling around the room that only I can see, or am I the elephant?